False Buddhas

I have lost my faith
again. Again, my faith
has been ripped from my
raw, open, vulnerable
beating heart.

These assholes pretend to be
teachers
wise ones
leaders
in a lifestyle
I am supposed to be dedicated to.

They are false Buddhas.

Was the Buddha just some bloated asshole?
A man, like all other men,
filled with ego, pretenting not to have one?
Bossing everyone around,
with this idea of being kind,
when placing himself above the needs of others.

Love everyone.
Love all sentient beings.
Do no fucking harm.

Do,
no,
harm.

In my darkest moments,
the dharma shed a light on my life
and showed me a windy
difficult path,
with challenges
and curves that turned me all around
away from the easy way.
The dharma, those teachings
opened me up and said,
“you don’t have to suffer,
you deserve to be happy.”

Well, if the dharma offers instructions on how to be a better person, a kind person, a person that shows love and caring,
then why the fuck are these people such lying assholes.
Off brand, off the mark.

I am marginalized, again,
by my fucking faith.

It’s not fair.
I practice these principals,
and dedicate myself to honoring the precepts,
Do, no, harm.
I don’t drink, I don’t steal, I think about my intentions, I care, I love, I honor, I revere,
I don’t kill,
I don’t kill myself, yet.

The most hurt I’ve been in my life,
and they took advantage.
I was honest, open hearted and vulnerable
and they ate it up and played with my life
like a game that amused them.

Do,
no,
harm.

Take,
my money,
my dignity,
my devotion,
my money,
my voice,
my refuge,
my money,
my donation,
my friend’s donation,
my membership to a club that was supposed to honot its members.

These fucking spiritual influential important people
who are supposed to be doing
important work to spread teachings of
kindness
beat me down and spit me out.
The word they used,
“unsuitable.”

Sangha. Community. The jewels of … fucking lies.

What a load of shit!

I am sick of these fake ass gurus,
with their cutsy books and
viral memes who don’t really care
about the people they are supposed to be serving.

My understanding has failed me,
again. My home, the one
where I took refuge. The place
where I thought my faith was renewed.
The institution where I went to heal,
fucking, failed me.

Lying, hypocritical false Buddhas.

I’m a student,
of a school where
teachers say his words,
but do not walk in his shoes.

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